First and foremost is the illicit use of my name. In no way did I suggest or consent to being featured in the student news article. The assignment as I understood it was to create a fictional fifth finder of the Golden Ticket--someone to hypothetically replace Charlie. Apparently, the new character was supposed to be as unsavory of attitude and action as the previous four finders. To include me with such objectionable figures as the gluttonous Augustus Gloop or the irksome Violet Beauregarde is as insulting as it is distasteful. Furthermore, to address me by my Christian name and to insinuate my immaturity by calling me "Young Mr. Philips" is just disrespectful.
I also take issue with efforts to impugn my integrity. As anyone in this school's administration will tell you, I am a man of high principles. Ponder, if you will, my 7 months at this institution. Has there once been a formal complaint about my conduct? Have I ever been charged with being anything less than completely professional? I thought not. To say that I am a "selfish" and "very nasty boy" is absolutely unnecessary.
Esteemed colleagues, I think you know libel when you see it. You understand this article was a tactless ploy by a student body frustrated by homework, eager to lash out. As always, your support is appreciated, and I hope that in the future you will remain just as vigilant against such abuse. Lord knows I will.
UPDATE: I recently came across more libelous material and I wanted to be first to share it with you. Just to set the record straight, in no way do I:
- "get a 0% on the test"
- "always say 'It's mine! that's all mine give it to me!! I hate you!'"
- "always say bad words. 'Fxxk you! You xxxxx!!'"
- have purple hair
- have a "very rich" mother
Don't believe the lies. They are destroying our community.
