Midwest Grandma Says "Yes" To Weed

As many of you know, the debate over medicinal marijuana refuses to go away. Sure, the issue has been precluded in recent months by such "larger" matters as the presidential election, the worlwide economic crisis and the seemingly interminable war on terror, but it is of paramount importance to remember what mattered most in our formative years--gettin' high with the bros.

Even my Grandma knows this. Just recently her husband, Clarence, (not my mother's late father, but the man who married my Grandma suspiciously late in life) was told that his cancer had spread to his bones. As the doctors pronognostified, Clarence could expect even more of the pain that plagues his daily life. Naturally, my Grandma was distraught. Her husband's life is already rapidly and painfully drawing to a close, and surely he doesn't need more discomfort. He is also too weak to undergo chemo, so what is she to do? The answer? Smoke a doob!

The doctors told my Grandma that right now the most effective method of alleviating Clarence's pain is medicinal marijuana. The only problem, says her, is that there is no way he could smoke it--he hasn't smoked a day is his life. Don't worry, the doctors counter, it can be ingested. Well children, let me tell you, my Grandma is positively a-twitter. In the words of my mother, the old bird is "absolutely excited". Now if I could only send her some magic baked goods in the mail--if only the Korean government was that flexible. Oh well. I know a guy in Boulder that could probably help her out.


EDITOR'S NOTE: This is the Grandma who claims to be the biggest Republican in Mexico, Missouri, and THE stalwart of Audrain County conservatism. It was she who once famously decried the presidential candidacy of Bill Clinton, because if elected, he would nominate Hillary Clinton as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, which in turn was horrifying because Hillary was (and is?) a Communist homosexual.